I have given this a lot of thought over my life, and as of late it has become evident that things I thought I knew and believed in have changed and evolved.
I have always believed in kindness and honesty, this has not changed entirely but yet changed completely.
my kindness has expanded from kindness to those that are kind to me, kindness to those I deem worthy, to kindness to everyone, everything and all living creatures, as who am I to say or judge who is worthy or deserving of my kindness.
I used to believe in heaven and hell, God and the devil.
while I still believe in god, its not the same god I learnt about, read about and prayed to.
the pages of the bible, the book I once held with such high regard I now see as being full of hypocrisy, seclusions and exclusivity I am really not ok with that.
God to me is much more real, its the trees, the air, the sea my land.
Heaven and hell, ummm noooo, heaven is all around me, its me earth, my existence, I celebrate it, treasure it, honour , and respect it with all the vigour and enthusiasm I used to pour into traditional religions.
this is so much more real to me and gives me a sense of direction, stability and satisfaction, far more than Christianity did.
As for the devil, I have shaken off the shackles of the fear of going to hell as I now see the devil as not a hideous beast who lives in hell in amongst the flames, but yet part of myself, my darkness, my wounds, my judgements.
I choose to not live in my own personal hell and learnt to be forgiving of those that eked out atrocities on me, so hell to me does merely only exist in my own mind and thoughts.
I believe in love, joy, excitement, kindness and passion.
I believe in forgiveness of others
before these were just words, words that I read, words that the pastor would tell me I needed to practice, but I never truly felt it and I used to anger when I heard him and others tell me that this is how I should be, feel and live as they never told me how to go about this, and even had me questioning why I would want to or if I should.
they told me to be forgiving, but I didn’t feel it.
I guess a big part part of this for me was learning to forgive myself and to be kind to me, it was only when I got a handle of this was I able to grasp forgiveness of others, for the life they gave me, for the things they did to me, for the neglect, violence and hatred they spat at me.
I am a grown woman now and I choose to forgive, not for their sake but for my sake, I choose not to have hatred, or violence in my life, and I can say with hand on heart I really have none of those things in my life, no hatred in my heart and it feels fantastic.
I now look at my perpetrators with a fresh set of eyes and a new understanding.
I believe in life, celebration, happiness, joy, love and choices
I have created and sculpted my life to be exactly how I wanted it and with that comes a real sense of pride as its not been easy casting aside old thought processes and behaviours, but I did it, so yes I am dam proud of me.
I believe in making the most of every day , i believe in being an inspiration to others i believe in being courageous I believe in love I choose love.